Do you ever have those dreams that wake you up because they are so disturbing you have no choice but to wake up, and when you wake up that dream is so potent that you begin to cry? You are at the most raw vulnerable state. Last night I had one of those. I was staying at my sister house on her floor. I went to sleep. I began to dream. I had a dream that I got into a yelling fighting match with one of the old teachers that I used to work with. Except the fight wasn't private, everyone was there to see it. After we were done fight, I went around asking people's forgiveness and trying to explain myself. I couldn't really explain myself at all. It was like there were no words. I felt this deep sadness and panic. Some people were okay with it. And some people would not forgive me. Someone said to me, they will forgive you in time. I was really mad at myself as well and couldn't believe the type of person I had become.
I woke up and for a brief second didn't remember my dream. Then it all came back to me; rushing back to me! I began to cry. My sister shifted in her bed and asked, "Are you crying?" I answered back, "Yes, I am..." I began to cry more and she turned completely in my direction. She just held my hand while I cried. And then asked me what was wrong...I told her it was a bad dream. She asked, "What about?" and I told her the story. She told me that those people who truly love you, will forgive you.
I think she was right about that. I am thankful she was there and that she just let me cry. She didn't tell me to stop crying, she just asked, and listened.
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